Looking back…

With Drake’s Outro in the background, and reading tumblr posts off of http://blogsecret.tumblr.com/…I really can’t get any more of an emotional feeling right now. *sigh* How senstive thy is.

Once I think about the whole thing again, I hope all is well. It’s fucking hard to let go, as I’m getting to realize that through other stories from other people. I still look back to it as something though, but I always end up being iggnorant about it trying to sound like you’re still wanting me and I come off as the bad ass. Thinking about it, I was pretty damn happy at the time…….cuz nobody ever really cares about what I have to say. I’m so awkward, so weird, so different, and you accepted me. If it wasn’t for you and your non-independence, and your gnittuc problems….then today I might’ve been in a different path.

But blah, sobbing about the past that seemed bright seems so dark only because of its ending. I’m happy I moved on, and I hope you have as well. Well….we haven’t moved on, we still dwell on the memories we had….but I hope you don’t do some stupid shit because I dumped you, because

I can’t see you in my life anymore because our past will never repeat itself.

I’ve never been the one to be hating against anyone, I don’t try to but I possibly have been….I would think it would be a force to try to talk to you again and it would seem like I would want you back…and you would probably think I would want you again….blah.

Your dependence on other people makes everything different….and I guess it’s going to be the way that it has been.

But the only reason why I even remember all of this is because you were REALLY falling in love with me, and it seems like I will never fall in love in my life…I’ve been contemplating just to adopt a child and be single….*sigh*

Before you, I never really thought about love, marriage and what I actually meant by saying I love you.

I followed everybody else and wanted to show our love for each other, but when I got tired of your shyness, you just began to open up.

You and I, were sadly like magnets….but I learned from this whole catastrophe like no other. Our lessons compare to the time when I began to open my mind to the real picture because of my best friend. Kinda ironic how I can can you my best enemy when you opened another door in my mind.

Blah…..I hate getting shit off my chest.

I’m happy for the lessons and memories you brought, but I hate how we spended all that time and now I really hate you….

I just feel really bad that you actually feel in love with a jobless, lazy fool like me…

F.Y.I if you ever read this…

I moved on, and I might have found someone new…

but everything you did won’t leave my life…hopefully you don’t get the picture that I want you off this earth, and I hope you’re not gnittuc and doing stupid shit I told you not to do….

I can’t stand seeing you because it hurts to remember our past…

….

Hakuna Matata.